A substantial part of the therapeutic work I do with clients is helping them explore their goals whatever they may be – “I want to manage my anger”, “I want to be more confident”, “I want to manage my weight”, “I want to cope better”, “I want to manage my anxiety”, “I want to be an astronaut” (actually, I’ve never had that one – yet!) Goals give us something to work towards and can help motivate us into pushing ourselves to achieve the things we want to achieve, even goals to improve our mental health and wellbeing.

But goals, however big or small, can seem overwhelming, particularly if you’re in a place of low resilience, and finding life generally hard to cope with. And if you’ve been trying – and failing – to achieve the goals you’ve set for yourself, that can be detrimental to your confidence and self-esteem. That’s why some of us can benefit from having a therapist to help us find a way to realise our goals, fulfil our potential and be the best person we can be. A cheerleader to support you on your journey to where you want to get to, and a guide to help you uncover your own way of getting there.

Effective goal setting maximises your motivation and gives you a structure and a clear focus on your desired outcome. Setting goals, and working towards them, helps us work towards making positive changes in our lives.

Neuroscience tells us that when we train our mind to think about what we want, and work towards reaching it, the brain re-wires itself to acquire the self-image we desire. This is Neuroplasticity and I talk about this in another Blog “Changing the way we think: How Neuroplasticity can give us hope.”

Achieving a goal leads to fulfilment, and until we get there, our brain keeps nudging us in the right direction. Research shows that having a goal predicts a higher level of success. Goals give us the power to imagine our preferred future. In my work as a Solution Focused Hypnotherapist, I can help you to work towards your preferred future – whatever it looks like for you. It’s about helping you to find your own way to achieve your desired or intended result – because you, and only you, know the best way for you to achieve it. Some of us just need a little help in finding the way.

A part of the brain called the Medial Prefrontal Cortex (MPFC) allows us to think about what we need to do right now to achieve our goals. If the goal is too distant, or set too far in the future, the MPFC activation lowers – and we may lose interest in sticking to the goals or lose the vision on how best to achieve them (Balcetis & Dunning, 2010). Setting the right goals in the right way is key to success.

The Reticular Activating System (RAS), a network of nerve pathways in the brain, is crucial in regulating our goal setting. The RAS processes the information related to the things in need of our attention right now. And it gives us signs. If your goal is, for example, to move house, then you’re likely to notice more for sale signs, or articles about the property market. This is RAS activation at work. The RAS knows that you’re paying attention to moving house at this moment, so registers the information relating to it (Alvarez & Emory, 2006).

Imagining and planning your goals, repeatedly imagining success, and reminding yourself of your targets, maintains stimulation in the RAS, and focuses your mind on doing the things you need to do to achieve your goals.

And get this amazing fact! The brain can’t tell the difference between imagination and reality. So, when you picture the goal you want to achieve, your mind starts believing that it’s real. When your brain ‘sees’ that you’re doing it, your brain drives you to take actions that will make it happen. And your goal setting becomes a success (Berkman & Lieberman, 2009: Berkman 2018). Which is why goal setting is so important. And if you do it right, you can turn your imagined goals into reality.

Here are a few pointers to help you set and work towards your goals:

• Is your goal specific enough? It needs to be clearly defined so that your brain knows exactly what you’re working towards.
• Make it measurable. Ask yourself, how will I know when I’ve achieved my goal?
• Is your goal realistic and achievable? Your conscious mind might be up for the challenge you’ve set for yourself, but if your sub-conscious knows that it’s unrealistic and unachievable, it will sabotage your attempt. I use neuroscience to explain how the brain works and how we can get it working for us, not against us.
• Focus on the positive.  Instead of focusing on what you’re not getting done, focus your attention on what you want to achieve. Focusing on the negative will simply get in the way of progress and can actually stop you from going anywhere. A big part of the work I do is helping clients to shift their focus from the negative to the positive. Once you’ve mastered that, it can be life-changing.
• What’s your plan? The key to achieving your goals is in having a plan. A blueprint of how you’re going to get there. Having grand resolutions is admirable, but if they’re too big, you’re just making it harder for yourself. So, create smaller, more achievable objectives. And take one small step at a time. As you start to tick these small things off your plan, your motivation to continue will increase, as will your confidence and your belief that your goal is realisable. I work with clients to help them formulate that plan – gently, and slowly – uncovering the things you can do to reach your objectives. You may not know it yet, but you are the best person to plan your way to your goal.
• Set a timescale. Setting a timeframe around the goal, however small, allows you to visualise when and how you’re going to work on your plan. Again, make this realistic and achievable, and keep the steps small enough so they don’t overwhelm you.
• Recognise the difference between actual limitations and self-limiting beliefs. Running a marathon with a broken ankle will be nigh on impossible (and not good for you). Thinking that you can’t run a marathon even though you have perfectly functioning joints and good health is not a barrier to success. Just as thinking that you can’t change the way you think, or feel, does not have to stop you from changing. We can work together to identify the beliefs that are holding you back – and then change them! Overcoming self-limiting beliefs is an important part of the work I do with clients.
• Celebrate your wins. It’s important to recognise the successes you’re making on your journey towards your goal. It’s ok to feel proud of yourself. For every small step you take towards your goal, give yourself a pat on the back. If available, having support from family and friends can encourage you to succeed. And if you need some extra support, having a trusted therapist or coach who’s experienced in pointing out and encouraging you to celebrate your wins can be the extra boost you need to keep you going.
• Remember, any progress is good progress. If you’ve planned to train for that event 5 times a week, and you’ve only done 4 training sessions, don’t beat yourself up about it – that’s concentrating on the negative – the thing you didn’t do. Instead, congratulate yourself that you have managed to train 4 times that week. Acknowledge that it’s a fantastic achievement. You are 4 training sessions closer to your goal. And there’s still time next week to go for the 5.

Goals are very useful in helping us to achieve something that will make us happier, calmer, fitter, more confident, more successful… insert whatever you want here. They don’t need to cause stress or worry, instead we can use them to make the changes we want to make in our lives, the changes we need to make in our lives.

You have the power to achieve your goals and make positive changes in your life, in a way that works for you.

If you want to know more about how you can do this, get in touch: mary@marybannisterhypnotherapy.co.uk

When we feel anxious, depressed, stressed, overwhelmed, it can feel like there’s nothing we can do to change how we’re feeling. But imagine if you could change the way you’re feeling, and in a relatively short amount of time. Do you think it would give you some hope that life could feel a little easier, a little better?

This is exactly what I help my clients to do using Solution Focussed Hypnotherapy (SFH). Utilising the brain’s ability to change and adapt – neuroplasticity – to change dysfunctional patterns of thinking and behaviour, and develop a new mindset.

Neural pathways are the connections between brain cells (neurons) that ‘light up’ when you think of something. Every time you learn to do something new, your brain creates a new connection. And when you repeat that thing, the connection is reinforced.

Here’s an analogy I often use with my clients to explain neuroplasticity, and how they can, with practice, cultivate new and better ways of thinking. Imagine a field full of long grass. There’s a path through the field which has been worn down to the bare earth through lots of use. But that path goes to a place that you’ve been to many times. And you don’t want to go there anymore. This path represents well-established but unwanted, inappropriate ways of thinking. In SFH we are in the business of changing those unwanted patterns of thought, for example, changing your way of thinking so you don’t always catastrophize and think of the worst-case scenario.

During therapy, we’ll explore those new ways of thinking. In our field of long grass analogy, this new way of thinking represents a new route across the field to your new, preferred destination. But there’s no pathway there yet. So, you make your way through the long grass, it’s harder to walk this way at first, but you successfully make it to the other side. You look back and the grass has been trodden flat. You now know that the more times you walk via this new pathway, the more established the path will become. The long grass will separate, the path will widen, and eventually you will move more easily to your desired destination. Meanwhile, the old path becomes overgrown, and redundant.

And so it is with new ways of thinking, where new neural pathways are formed, and – with practice – new patterns of thought or behaviour are established. The more you do it, the easier it is. In SFH, I can help you to discover your desired destinations, and help you navigate the new path to get you there.

Imagine if you really could change the way you think so that you can feel better. Well, you really can. You can change unwanted habits and foster new ones. Because your brain can change, you can respond to stress, anxiety, and overwhelm in a more useful and appropriate way. Which can help you to break unwanted and unhelpful thought and behaviour patterns.

Whilst there are many things in life that you can’t control, remember that you can control the way you think about those things.

Which is how neuroplasticity can give us hope.

Mary Bannister Hypnotherapy. Helping you to… THINK BETTER, FEEL BETTER, DO BETTER.